Doc Hop

As many of you have probably already heard via my Facebook, Twitter or various other social media accounts, I recently had the opportunity to audition for Big Brother 13 — a show I have been following since its first year. While I went in knowing it was a long shot, I’ve loved the show for far too long not to try. I probably won’t make it on, but it definitely won’t be for lack of effort.

I woke up bright and early the morning of my audition, which was difficult considering I was up half the night trying to perfect my head and body shots. Coupled with the fact that I was so excited that I could barely sleep, and it’s easy to see why I had to stop for a strong cup of coffee before making my way to the casting call.

After  fueling up for a long day, I ran by Walmart to develop my audition photos. While I was waiting in line I noticed that two of the people ahead of me were also trying out for the show, so I took a few minutes to size-up my competition. The girl hadn’t filled out her application and seemed a little unprepared. The guy was a good ol’ boy from Tennessee, mid-40s and draped in a Budweiser T-shirt.  You never know what producers are looking for, but I was completely nervous, as I made my way to the casting call.

Auditions were held at The Dubliner Irish Pub, which I thought was a rather strange choice until I actually got there. I assumed the building was going to be way too small for the size of the event until I turned a corner to find that there were only about seven people in line ahead of me. Auditions started at noon, and since I didn’t get there until 10 a.m., I was worried that try-outs would end before I made it in. Fortunately, that wasn’t an issue.

I had a two-hour wait, but it went by really quickly. As soon as I got there the line started filling out, so there were a lot of people to talk to. It’s not too often that I come across someone who appreciates Big Brother as much as I do, so to be in a group of about 80 of them was pretty exciting. (Imagine following a sport with a very small fan base, and maybe you’ll start to see where I’m coming from. I mean, let’s face it — this wasn’t Idol.)

While waiting to go in I met Kim, a 40-something-year-old former race car driver and exotic animal breeder, who I stuck close to for a good chunk of the morning. From there we met Joe, who was cut during the final round of try-outs last year, and Kenneth, who was in his 20s and new to the show. I became better acquainted with the two people I had met at Walmart — Krysti and Tom — who, like me, were trying out for the first time after being long-time fans.

Someone brought a boom-box to the audition, which helped kill the time and calm the nerves. Around 11 a.m. The Dubliner decided to open its outside bar and patio to us, so we all had a chance to sit down and have a drink while waiting to meet producers.

As much as I could have used one, I decided to hold off on ordering a drink until I successfully auditioned. CBS producers showed up around 11:30 a.m. and started handing out numbers. I was #18, and since they were taking people in four at a time, I knew I wouldn’t have to wait too long.

Once my number was called, I was taken into the restaurant for a quick photo and a short wait. Since my name was toward the end of the page, producers decided that my group could go in with three people instead of four, which I hope worked toward my advantage.

I went in with Tom and some chick who allegedly turned down a spot on the first season of The Bad Girls Club. I probably should have been threatened, but the girl was such a mess that it was hard for me to take her seriously. (Of course, in all the seasons Big Brother has been on the air I can’t recall one year in which CBS did not cast a total train-wreck, so maybe I should have been a little worried.) But come on! The girl was in a black cocktail dress and had downed about four glasses of wine by 1 p.m. Maybe it was all part of her strategy, but from where I was sitting it was a pretty sad show.

After about five or 10 minutes, Tom, Crazy and I were directed to the back corner of the bar, where John, undoubtedly one of CBS’s youngest producers, was waiting to meet with us.

The audition was great, but quick. John asked just what I expected him to ask, (Long time fan? Yes. Favorite houseguest? Will. Strategy? Expect the unexpected), and I worked to make sure my voice was heard. I thought Crazy was going to dominate most of the conversation, but there was actually a lot of give and take among the three of us. Tom played the part of the friendly country boy, Crazy treated the show like career move and I described how my journalism skills would help me in the house. Within about three or four minutes we were sent on our way with the promise that we should hear something within the next week or two.

After surviving auditions, Tom and I headed back to the bar to enjoy a much-needed cocktail. Since I had such a low number, about 60 people were still waiting to make their way through the casting call by the time I finished up. I made friends with this lovely gay couple, one half of which was trying out for the second time, and a model/physical fitness trainer who was the spitting image of James Franco. After wishing everyone good luck and taking down names and numbers so I could look them up on Facebook, I headed home to wait for producers to call.

I still haven’t heard anything, but from what I’ve read, it’s not uncommon to get a call back three weeks before the show is set to air. For some extra security, I’m recording a two-minute video this evening and sending it to CBS tomorrow morning. I haven’t come this far to call it quits during my final push for $500,000.

“Expect the unexpected.” — Big Brother.