Doc Hop

I’m going to apologize ahead of time — I’m running on little sleep and a long production day. I really don’t even know where to begin…

For starters — my cell is officially up and running. Thank God. (Well, no, actually — thank Steve.) I’ve missed it, and I’m not even a big phone person. With a few exceptions I really don’t call up many people just to chat. That said, I do love to txt, and not having the option was beginning to drive me a little crazy.

I also have a couple of doctor’s appointments set up for this week.

About six months ago, when I was still working at PetSmart, I noticed this strange line of light in one of my eyes. I didn’t really think too much about it, until someone I worked with told me that one of my pupils was significantly smaller than the other. It was weird, but with the move to Miami I had a relatively easy time pushing it out of my mind. The thing is, since the move I’ve been noticing it more and more. Under certain circumstances and in different situations my right eye doesn’t seem to focus on light correctly.

The other night Addam and I were waiting to catch a bus, and I told him that the street lamps were bothering me. It was like the light was too bright and everything else was too dull — but just in the one eye. (I know this makes absolutely no sense, but I hope everyone is following me.) The really creepy part is that later that night, while Addam and I were enjoying a drink at Miami Prime for his friend’s birthday, this girl stopped me mid-sentence to tell me that my pupils were two completely different sizes and that it was “really cool.”

Yeah. It might be “cool” to look like Marilyn Manson for a few hours, but it wasn’t as “cool” once I googled it.

Common causes, according to the National Library of Medicine:

• Aneurysm
• Bleeding inside the skull caused by head injury
• Brain tumor or abscess
• Excess pressure in one eye caused by glaucoma
• Infection of membranes around the brain caused by meningitis or encephalitis
• Migraine headache
• Seizure (pupil size difference may remain long after seizure is over)
• Tumor, mass, or lymph node in the upper chest or lymph node causing pressure on a nerve may cause decreased sweating, a small pupil, or drooping eyelid all on the affected side (Horner syndrome)
• Eye drops

Considering I don’t think I’ve even touched an eye drop since I was five or six — I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t a little nervous. Of course, I’m the type of person who thinks that every time I go to the doctor they’re going to tell me I have some rare, incurable disease and have two-weeks left to live. Still, I was not expecting to see “brain tumor” on the list.

I called a neurologist, who suggested I come in as soon as possible. Every place is closed on weekends, so I set up an appointment for tomorrow evening. I may have to postpone it if things get really busy at work. Thankfully, tomorrow is a Wednesday, which is usually a bit more relaxed around the newsroom. If things go according to plan, I intend to get to work around 8 a.m. (which is two to three hours early for a post-production workday), write through lunch and leave a little early.

My other appointment is not so panic-inducing. I’ve always had anxiety issues and with all the crap I’ve been dealing with between family and finances, I’ve been feeling a little down lately. After years of putting it off, I’m finally ready to admit defeat and talk to an expert. I don’t expect to get much out of it, but it seems important to Addam, which is the main reason I’m biting the bullet. (Of course, if someone would have told me that it meant so much to him I would have made the call a lot sooner. Unfortunately, the one person who knew wasn’t talking.) That appointment is on Saturday, so I won’t have to worry about making up my time at work.

In the meantime, I’m trying to keep my mind off my worries by throwing myself into some Buffy. I’m almost through the final season and am getting a little worried that my girl might not make it through the last episode. All the “slayers in training” are making me a bit uncomfortable.

I’ll make sure to provide an update after tomorrow’s neurology appointment. (Assuming I’m not about to die. That wouldn’t make for a very happy blog post…) Keep me in your thoughts and I will keep you in mine.

“So we beat on, boats against the current, borne back ceaselessly into the past.” — The Great Gatsby, 1925.