Doc Hop

It’s the most wonderful time of the year! Sierra, Becca and Theodore came to visit me in Long Beach this week, and boy, oh boy, did we have some FUN!! This visit was exactly what I needed to fill my cup and warm my heart. (Seeing and squeezing them always does.) Last year I went to see them, and this year they came to see me. They are not just my best friends, they are my chosen family, and I’m so grateful that I get to span time with them. The days I get to spend with them are always the best of my entire year.

Tuesday, January 6

The gang’s flight was scheduled to land at LAX around 11:45 a.m., but a delay in Chicago pushed their ETA back by an hour as they waited on the runway. They texted to say they had arrived at their Airbnb with Chipotle around 2:20 p.m., and after I walked Lemon, I drove straight over. By 3 p.m., we were all together again! (This account is, of course, from my perspective; while my Tuesday was just getting good, Becca, Sierra, and Theodore had already been traveling since 1 a.m. Pacific time. I’m impressed and grateful that they were able to rally despite the jet lag, and with a toddler too! Theodore is lucky to have such attentive and devoted mommas, and I’m lucky to have such supportive and present friends.)

After a quick tour of the place and a brief hang in the backyard while Theo played in the tall weeds and got to know his Aunt Ash a little better, we all came inside to go through the stack of books I picked up for Theodore at my local library earlier in the week. I also gave Theo the first of his Christmas presents — the book Julián is a Mermaid by children’s author Jessica Love. We read a couple, and then decided to take a stroll for some (much needed!) local Long Beach coffee. LB supposedly has some of the best in the U.S., so I was excited to share some cool beans with my BEST FRIENDS!

We packed Theo into his stroller and walked a few short blocks to the Good Time Cafe, which I hadn’t been to but had seen on TikTok. I stuck with my standard iced mocha, and S and B got a tuxedo peppermint mocha and a champurrado (Mexican hot chocolate) latte to share. And I don’t know about theirs, but mine was really good! It looks like this place has LGBTQ trivia nights, so I definitely want to make a point of coming back soon. I don’t have a team, but no one is so rich as to turn away a friend! (Even if I already have the best ones.)

We spent the rest of the evening hanging in at the Airbnb and enjoying each other’s company. I’m grateful just to spend time in the same room as my chosen family, so the few hours we spent reading books and jamming out to holiday songs and the Chicken Dance was just what I needed to fill my cup. ❤️

I left around 7 p.m. so that S and B could start to get Theodore ready for bed. Between the three-hour time difference and traveling for the better part of 18 hours, they were some pooped parents, and Becca had plans to run by Trader Joe’s for some essentials before calling it a night. I left with plans to wake with the dawn so that we could squeeze every second out of the the next two days. We weren’t sure how Theodore would adjust to the time change, but I was prepared to get up before the rooster crows to spend time with my people.

(Also pictured — Lemon enjoying a free treat from Good Time, courtesy of Becca, because I wasn’t going to get her one until she said, “Does Lemon like milk bones?” Lemon said, “Geez, mom, I’m glad someone’s looking out for me!” At least that’s what she would have said, if her mouth wasn’t full of treat.)

Wednesday, January 7

Becca and Sierra messaged me around 6:45 a.m. to say that they were up and moving, so I also got moving — right on over to their Airbnb with some grocery staples to help make their stay a bit more comfortable. Eggies, peanut butter, that sort of stuff.

I also brought Theodore his second and final Christmas present — If You’re a Drag Queen and You Know It by Lil Miss Hot Mess and Olga De Dios Ruiz. It’s the second in a three-book series. I got him The Hips on the Drag Queen Go Swish, Swish, Swish a year or so ago and his local library has the third. He loves ’em, and I love him, so I’m sure that I’ll be sending the third book his way in the near future.

Theodore let me in the door, and after opening his present he sat down to a breakfast of waffles with peanut butter and fruit. Becca and Sierra had the same, and after some coffee we all headed out to check out Long Beach’s always exciting Aquarium of the Pacific.

An aquarium worker asked to take our photo as soon as we entered, and we absolutely took them up on their offer! I got that amazing picture with J-Row when he visited, so we weren’t going to let this opportunity pass us by without seizing it. They took a standard photo and another where we held out our hands, then superimposed little turtles onto the final image. I bought both, but the turtle one was my favorite. Theodore brought a plastic tortoise with him from Ohio, so it reminds me of that and makes me smile.

We started in the outside area with the birds, and it was by far my favorite part. Becca bought some bird food, and since we were one of the first groups of the day those birds were HUNGRY! They were the sweetest things and they flew right to us! I had quite a few birds growing up, so it definitely brought back some really fond memories and made me miss my little ones. One day I’d really like to rescue an older bird who needs a good home. They live so long! But with Bernstein that would be disaster city!

While in the bird habitat one of the workers gave us a lot of cool information on bird law and mating practices at the aquarium. There are a few poly couples, and when the birds lay eggs, workers often replace them with grapes so the birds still feel like they’re caring for their young while the aquarium works on hatching and habitat management. So cute, so cool! The worker even identified a few of the birds by name, including his favorite (I believe her name was Mina), who had been with the aquarium for 14 years! Little old lady, but still so sweet! What a cool job! I love my life, but in another universe I am definitely hanging out with birds all day.

From the birds, we circled around the rest of the outside area. There were sharks, stingrays, and trout on the first floor, and penguins and sea lions on the second. The penguins are always cool, but this annoying older volunteer kept talking at us in a very low voice about stuff that lacked any real relevance. He was the exact opposite of the bird man, who offered up useful information we actually cared about. Sierra was also trying to clean some food off Theo at the time, which made the guy seem even more frustrating. Read the room, dude! It was a bummer, because he took a perfectly good penguin experience and made me want to get out of that area as quickly as possible. If you’re gonna hang around the penguins, you need charisma, am I right?! This dude surely didn’t have any. I literally couldn’t get away fast enough.

From upper outside area we swung back inside, to check out the top floor and circle around to the bottom. (Which is my usual route.)

The jellyfish are always a highlight for me, but the best part was experiencing it all through Theo’s perfect little eyes, which were truly full of pure joy and wonderment. I wish I had the proper words for how warm it made my heart to see him so excited and so engaged. I know that he’s still very young, but I love that in his short life so far we’ve already built up so many exciting experiences for the memory books, and that I’ve been a part. I always want to be a big part of his life.

We checked out the jellies, the otters, the star fish, the sea horses, the frogs, and the fish. We ended back outside to pet some moon jellies, since that station was closed earlier in the morning. By that point the aquarium was really starting to fill up with people, so after picking up digital copies of our photos from earlier in the day, we headed back to the Airbnb to lunch and relax.

Theodore had a peanut butter and jelly sandwich, black beans, and some fruit, which gave him just the energy he needed for a trip to the park! (Ohio has been cold, cold, cold, so S, B, and T wanted to take advantage of the lovely California sunshine! Ironically enough, Ohio was experiencing similar highs the entire time they were here. BUT, all last week it was rainy, so I’m still taking it was a giant win! We didn’t get a single drop.)

We ended up at the Recreation Park playground. It was close to the Airbnb, but it is also a park that I drive by often, and every single time I’ve thought about how fun it would be to bring Theo. Now every time I pass I can think back on all the fun we had when we all went together!

It’s dinosaur themed, with “dig sites” in the sand and a big T-Rex that kids can climb. It was all super cool, and we began our adventures by playing in the sand and digging up some dino bones before moving to the stairs and slides. That said, I think the swings were both Theo and my favorite, because we got to swing together for a bit and we really let loose! Theo wanted to swing, baby, swing, so we SWUNG, BABY, SWUNG!! He was a-bouncing and a-bopping! And even though he was quick to say “all done!” I know he had fun, because he kept saying “Weeeee! Weeeeee!” for the rest of his visit. If you can’t be wild with your Aunt Ash, who can you wild out with?!

By the time we arrived back at the Airbnb it was about time for Becca and Sierra to have lunch and for Theo to take a nap. They had thrown some baked potatoes into the oven before we left for the park, but I ran home to check on Lemon and grab a quick bite. I picked us all up some coffee from Good Time on my way back, and reached the house while Theo was in the middle of what would become an epic, 2.5 hour nap! The aquarium and that playground sure tired out this toddler!

While Theodore snoozed, Becca, Sierra and I sat outside in the backyard (with a baby monitor) and had a good, long talk and simply enjoyed each other’s company. This was another highlight of the day for me, because I haven’t gotten to just sit around and talk with my best friends since my visit to Oberlin last January. That’s just not enough face-to-face, one-on-one time with my chosen life mates! But two hours was a really good start. ❤️ I’m grateful for every second I can get.

Theodore has been obsessed with “Holiday lights” since the Christmas season, so after he woke up from his nap we decided to take a stroll around the neighborhood to see if we could find any. We were in luck, because quite a few houses still had them up! And Theodore was LIVING for it! He kept shouting, “YES! YES!” as we were getting started, and it was absolutely the sweetest, funniest thing I have ever witnessed. The pure joy of holiday lights! If only everyone could find so much happiness in such little things.

We walked around for about 20 or 30 minutes, then came inside for a long bath. (Okay, well, Theo came inside for a bath and his Bebe helped. We didn’t all take a bath together, if that’s what you were thinking.) Sierra and I sat in the living room and continued our talk, while Becca got him and his toys all washed up.

We decided on Mexican for dinner, and ended up at Los Compadres, after our first choice closed early. We had about a 15 minute wait, but Theodore was so good about it! We’d done so much in one day, especially for such a little bub, but he sure was a trooper and a good sport about such a busy day.

Once we were seated I ordered some very bland potato tacos, but really good rice and beans. Theodore had a cheese quesadilla, and Sierra and Becca split enchiladas, beans and rice. We also had a ton of chips and salsa, which were really good as well. It was our first meal out together this trip, so I was very excited to be sitting across the table from my very best friends! And right beside Theodore!

Once we got back to the Airbnb it was Theodore’s bedtime, and Becca and Sierra were following shortly after. Theodore refused my hugs with some sweet toddler sass, but his mommas didn’t, and I was on my way back to my place shortly after. I too went to bed early that night, with alarms set so I wouldn’t sleep all of our next day away!

Thursday, January 8

Sierra and Becca messaged at 6:45 a.m. to say that they were all up and about. Theo woke up at 5 a.m. and they tried to wrangle him back to sleep, but he was determined to start the day. (He must have wanted to see his Aunt Ash!) I took a shower and walked Lemon, but made it to their place about an hour later.

While Theo had eaten earlier, that morning we decided to grab breakfast/brunch at The Coffee Cup Cafe, which you might remember from my post about J-Row’s visit. I had it twice with J-Row, and I ended up having it twice with S, B, and T, so I guess it’s safe to say that it’s a solid spot to bring guests! They always love it, and so do I!

I had a veggie scramble with soy chorizo and home fries. Theo had a slice of apple cinnamon french toast. S and B split a potato scramble and chilaquiles. (I ended up getting the chilaquiles the next day, so both of these photos are actually of my food, but you get the idea.) It was all SO GOOD!! Sierra seemed particularly impressed, and Theodore was as well behaved as ever! He’s such an easy toddler to dine with, it’s nuts! He doesn’t even eat gross.

Theo had been up since 5 a.m., so once we got back to the Airbnb, he took a nap while Becca, Sierra and I chatted in the backyard. This nap wasn’t quite as long as the first one, but we still had plenty of time for some good conversation and some great friendship.

Once Theodore was back up we all decided to head out for an afternoon on the beach, with a pit stop for coffee at The Library. And you wont’ believe this y’all — Theodore didn’t just let me carry him in and out, he REQUESTED me! As I was unbuckling his car seat his reached his little arms out to me, and once I had him in mine he wanted to stay there! ❤️ We’ve all had that annoying family member who comes on way too strong, so I’ve always been intentional about letting him come to me and allowing our relationship to develop naturally, rather than forcing myself on him every time I see him. With that in mind, this was a BIG moment for me! It was absolutely my Sally Field, “You like me! You really like me!” beat. He let me hold him all the way to the table, and you can read how much it meant to me from the smile that was plastered to my face the entire time. And I totally get it now! Because with those little arms around me I would have absolutely fought a bear for him.

Theo and Sierra split a blueberry muffin, while Becca enjoyed what appeared to be a cheese danish. I don’t think any of us liked our drinks very much, but we sure loved sharing the time together. And The Library always has a very cool, very chill vibe that I love. The coffee shop was just a hop away from the beach, so that’s where we headed next.

And Theo had SUCH A TIME!! It was so sweet! He has been to the beaches of Puerto Rico and Lake Erie, but he’s never been a big fan of the sand or sea…until this day! (Must be that west coast! West coast, best coast, baby!) Ugh, the pure joy in this babe’s face! He was running all through the sand and leaving tiny footprints behind him! We hung out in the dry stuff for a bit, while I showed him out to bury his hands and feets, then we joined his mommas right by the surf, where he dipped his little toes in the Pacific.

We had most of the beach to ourselves, which was really nice and basically unheard of in LB! Last time I visited the beach was with J-Row, and he had a great time, but Theodore definitely had a better one! I’m glad that I was able to be a part of his first positive beach experience. Things are always better when we’re together!

I took so many photos and it was impossible to narrow them down for this post, so check out the slideshow below for a cuteness overload.

After taking a brief stroll down the boardwalk we headed back to the Airbnb, where we changed into comfy clothes and hung around in the backyard for a bit. All week Theodore would do the cutest thing where he’d say, “Ash, down!” and point to the spot next to him for me to sit! I sat myself absolutely everywhere he requested. He could have directed me into traffic, I love him so much and am such a sucker for him! He was also quite the mimicker, so I’d often see him posing just like his Aunt Ash or Bebe, which also pulled right at my heart strings.

We also spent a lot of time just chilling in the living room — building with magnetic tiles and having our own little “Chicken Dance” party. Theo was Mr. Giggles all day, so it was a super sweet, super comfy evening. It was definitely a night that I will store away and revisit whenever I am feeling lonely in Long Beach.

We had a hankering for Indian, so I ran out to Appu’s Turmeric Cafe to pick up dinner. (Long Beach is big on fusion foods, and this place is technically considered Indian-Mexican, but it was close enough.) I had a desi quesarita, which was basically a quesadilla, with golden turmeric potatoes, and crispy grilled veggies and cheese. Sierra and Becca split the saag aloo and some cheese bread and then made some pumpkin samosas that they had picked up at Trader Joe’s. And it was all so good! Of course and as always — my favorite part was the company I enjoyed it with. 😊 ❤️

After dinner it was time for Theo’s bath, and after that he was off to bed and so was I. I didn’t get a hug goodbye, but I did get some cuddles before bedtime, which was just as good and left me just as grateful! We were looking through photos of that day’s adventures, and Sierra caught the cuddle, pictured below! He plopped right down in my lap and stayed there. 🥰

Friday, January 9

Sierra messaged at 6 a.m. to say that everyone was in the process of waking up. I had a cup of coffee, walked Lemon, and headed over around 7 a.m. for our final day together this trip. As much as I dreaded saying “see ya later,” I was determined to squeeze every ounce of happiness out of every second we had left together.

The gang had a super early flight out of LAX the next day, so they decided to spend their last night in a hotel right outside of the airport. They had to be out of the Airbnb by 11 a.m., so we spent a slow morning packing it up and chatting it up. We even had some time to hang out in the backyard with some Ben & Jerry’s Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough ice cream, where a neighbor was blasting some R&B music that had Sierra grooving! And Theo too! (The night before a neighbor on the other side of us was blasting Tom Petty’s Won’t Back Down and Frank Sinatra’s My Way and clearly going through it. I don’t really mind either artist, but this was preferred.) Despite packing up, it was a smooth and relaxing morning.

We all enjoyed The Coffee Cup so much on Thursday that we decided to go back for our final brunch together, and we pretty much ordered the same thing that we did the first time! (We know what we like.) Sierra and Becca split the potato hash and chilaquiles, but this time I also ordered the chilaquiles. (They just looked so dang good the day before that I had to try them out, even though I could not get the pronunciation right.) Theodore had a slice of french toast, some scrambled eggies and a fruit cup. And this time we got to sit right next to the window so that Theodore could watch all the people and cars moving by while we ate. (I also like eating by the window, so we have that in common.) But I think he was still more entertained by his company than the traffic outside. I know I was! I so seldom get to share a meal with people I love that I made sure to soak up every one that we enjoyed together. 😊 ❤️ I wish I could share every meal with them always.

With full bellies and fuller hearts, we all headed back to my place so that I could show Theodore just where I spend so much time thinking about him. I have a super small apartment and a very naughty dog, so it was a short tour, but it made me feel good to show my family my home. I think Sierra and Becca enjoyed checking out my extensive drag collection, and I know Theo was very interested in both Bernstein and Lemon, even if Bernie stayed out of reach and Lemon was trapped in air jail.

From my place we headed to Edison Park, which is right next to my favorite bike path — the San Gabriel River Bike Trail. When the weather is right and the days are long enough, I park there up to five or six days a week while I get my spin on. Now I’ll get to think about the fun times I shared with Theodore every single time I pull up!

We spent some time climbing around the jungle gym equipment before running around a large open field that surrounds the playground, basketball court and volleyball sands. Theodore wasn’t too into the slides this time, but he was really digging the steps and hobby frog. He also had a lot of fun rolling around on the ground like a wild one with his Aunt Ash!

I think my favorite part of this playground adventure was climbing the weeping fig trees that lined the park. (Sierra had an app that identified the tree. She also identified a common raven and a black phoebe.) They were so stinking cool, and their long, low, horizontal branches made them perfect for climbing. Theo stuck to the lower limbs, but Sierra and I climbed a bit higher. I grew up climbing trees, and I still size up potential climbs as I go about my day. I’ve really missed it, so it was fun to feel like a kid again. If you can’t embrace pure joy with family, who are you supposed to express it with?!

We wrapped up our park time with some swinging, only this time there wasn’t a doubles option, so Sierra pushed Theo while Becca and I swung solo. Theo didn’t get the same height, speed, or velocity as he did swinging with me, but he still had fun! Weeeeee!!

Becca and Sierra had a friend to meet up with in Venice Beach, so after the park they dropped me off at my house and drove into LA. I hung out for a few hours until Sierra messaged to let me know that they were headed to their hotel, where we met up around 6:30 p.m. for dinner. Becca had to return their rental car, so after we got all the stuff into the hotel room she went to do that, while Sierra and I gathered up Theo to head down to the hotel restaurant — The Garden Grill.

We all ordered the $10 pasta primavera with grilled veggies and Alfredo, and since the server forgot to put the order in, we got one for free. What a steal! The delay also gave us more time to chat and hang out as a family, which I secretly and selfishly did not mind at all. Theo had fun hanging in the darkened back area of the dining room, where the vibes were chill and the music was low. Once the food did arrive it was well worth the wait. I forgot to take a photo, but it was very big and very cheesy! Yum! It was a great meal to end a greater trip.

My least favorite part of the whole week came next, which was saying goodbye back in the hotel room. Well, not goodbye, but see you later. Either way, I didn’t like it at all. The only solace was that I finally received a hug from Theodore! All week he’d answered “No!” when his moms asked him if he wanted to give me a hug before I left for the evening, but when his moms told him that he wouldn’t be seeing me for awhile he looked at me with his big blue eyes and reached his little arms right toward me! 🥰 I’m not even exaggerating when I tell you that I cried the entire way through the hall, down the elevator, and out to my car.

The see you laters never get any easier, but I was so grateful for four beautiful days with my three favorite people.

And it truly is a “see you later,” because we already have plans to get together at the same time next year—if I don’t see them sooner in Athens and/or Oberlin this spring or summer. We’ve decided to make a yearly rotation out of meeting up, so I’ll absolutely see them in Oberlin next winter at the latest, though I have a feeling it’ll be sooner. And not just via video chat! In a couple of years, we may even meet somewhere brand new (we briefly discussed Cape Cod!) but no matter where we go, I know it’ll be perfect as long as we’re all together.

And also, we’d better meet up soon, because Becca and Sierra say that Theodore is already missing me, like I miss him! They said he woke up in the middle of the night saying “Ash down!” and that I was the first thing he wanted to talk about when he woke up this morning! ❤️ The feeling is more than mutual, bug! He was the last one I thought about before going to bed and the first one I thought about upon waking up! If I could I’d Chicken Dance all the way to Ohio every morning!

I have two points I want to wrap up on:

1. I am so dang proud of how Becca and Sierra have stepped into their roles as parents. I know that they’ve been parents for two years, but they continue to impress me with how open they are to having conversations with Theodore, whether its about the day’s schedule or his big toddler feelings. I know it’s hard, and it doesn’t look easy, but they have such a strong partnership with both each other and their little one. Theodore is just so lucky to have them, and they are so lucky to have each other. And I’m so lucky to be a part of their family and their lives. In the infinite universes that expand from our own, I hope we are together in each one.
   
2. I’m so grateful that I was able to connect with Theodore in a real and meaningful way on this trip. Every time I see him is a treasure, but this visit felt especially different because he’s growing and changing so quickly. I could really see his little personality starting to come out—what catches his attention, what makes him smile, and how he reacts to the world around him. I’ve visited with him at each stage of his life, but this one seemed particularly meaningful in terms of building friendship. I just hope he remembers me between visits! I’m going to do everything in my power to make sure he does. ❤️