Flights and fires: Visiting family in Oberlin

Before I get into the heart of this post, I want to issue a heartfelt thanks to everyone who reached out to make sure I was safe from the L.A. wildfires. Lemon, the boys and I are safe and sound, as the fires are in northern Los Angeles County and Long Beach is to the south. That said, it was nice to know that you had us in your hearts and minds. (No one from my biological family checked in, but my chosen family sure did, and it did not go unnoticed or unappreciated.)

This week I traveled from Long Beach to Oberlin, Ohio to visit my best friends and chosen family — Becca, Sierra and Theodore. As I posted a while back, Sierra and Becca gifted me a plane ticket for Christmas, and this was the week I’ve been waiting so (im)patiently for!

It was my first time leaving Lemon alone since I’ve gotten to California, and since I don’t know too many people here yet, I had to turn to Rover for a pet sitter. I hired a sitter named Kris to check in on Lemon and the boys while I was gone, and he sent me plenty of photo updates, so I always knew that they were safe and happy. (Well, as happy as they could be without their momma.) I’ve only used the service once, but I will definitely use it again in the future. Lemon can be a brat sometimes, so it was nice to have a sitter come to her. She would not do as well in a strange house.

I set off for Ohio on Wednesday night, taking the red eye to Cleveland with a brief layover in Las Vegas. I took and Uber to the airport and made it through security without much issue, but my first flight was packed. I assume that a lot of people booked trips from L.A. to Vegas to evacuate the fires. My flight to Cleveland was far less crowded, and I got the whole aisle to myself! I didn’t really get any actual sleep on the 4-hour flight, but I appreciated having more space to rest. It was also my first time seeing the lights of Vegas, which looked really pretty from above.

Thursday, January 9

I arrived in Ohio at 7 a.m. EST, or 4 a.m. Pacific time, which I have grown quite accustomed to. It was also freezing and snow covered, which was also a bit of a shock to the system after so long in Georgia and California. That said, I was super excited to finally see snow again. It’s been awhile since I’ve experienced a true winter, and while I don’t miss the cold, I do miss the beauty.

I saw Becca the second I stepped out of the airport, and after a big hug she drove me straight home to Sierra, Theodore and Lily, where more hugs (and pets) were waiting! (And coffee!) We caught up over breakfast from Main Street Grille, which we had the last time we saw each other, when Theodore was just a few months old. I had a spinach and feta omelette with fried potatoes and rye toast, Sierra had a veggie scrambler, and Becca had stuffed French toast. Theodore did not order out, but he joined us with a scrambled eggie, refried beans and banana. Lily was on clean up crew. My food was absolutely delicious and much needed, since I only packed a couple of cookies in my carry on. It’s definitely what I needed to start feeling more like myself after a long night of travel. The food and Theo’s sweet face had me at 100 percent in no time.

I have been SO EXCITED to give everyone their Christmas presents, so after breakfast I wasted no time handing them out. I brought Theodore a stocking filled with beeswax crayons, pop tubes, and a “busy cube,” and one of my childhood puff-a-lumps — a blue bunny I’ve had for longer than I can even remember. He immediately gave it the biggest snuggle, which made my heart so happy; I can’t help but to smile just thinking about it. The puff always reminds me of my dad, who got me my first. (Puff-a-lumps were my JAM as a kid.) Theo’s stocking was also re-gifted, as it was one that my mom had sent me years ago. It felt very special for me to share a part of my childhood with him. I also had a personalized book printed, highlighting all the exiting things he’s going to do with his Aunt Ashley as he grows up. I thought that one was particularly sweet, but I think Theo enjoyed the pop tubes the best. A little later in the day we also gave Theodore his balance bike, which was much smaller than I imagined but the perfect size for his little baby butt!

(Funny side story — the presents were my only hold up at LAX, specifically Theodore’s gifts! I guess it is kind of suspicious to bring a bunch of wrapped boxes through security, but they ran all of Theo’s presents through the scanner twice to make sure I wasn’t trying to traffic drugs or a bomb. I was very happy that they didn’t make me unwrap anything, all things considered.)

I was also super excited to give Sierra and Becca their gifts — a “Best Friends, Better Moms” Dundie and an original family print that I designed, featuring flowers from Sierra, Becca and Theodore’s birth months, which I framed. I’m really proud of the gifts that I gave this year, because every single one came straight from my heart. I know that Becca and Sierra could feel the love that went into them, and I hope they bring happiness to their lives every day.

Theodore is a serious snow bunny, and there is nothing he likes better than sledding with his moms! I say “serious,” because he always has the most intense face on while he rides! Sledding has his complete concentration, and the cold does not seem to bother him one little bit! He’s the sweetest snow baby that I ever did see. We walked him around the back yard, past a few houses, and down a small hill, and Theodore would have only been happier had we pulled him across all of Oberlin!

(And I’m super thankful that Sierra and Becca hadn’t gotten around to donating that coat you see me wearing in the photos below, because I never even unpacked mine upon moving to California. 🤣 They also provided my gloves. But the hat and sweat pants were my own! 😂 To be fair, I also needed the space in my suitcase for presents, not coats!)

Besides sledding, we really spent all of Thursday just chatting over coffee and being a family. I don’t know how many times that day I expressed how much joy I felt at just being able to hang around in my sweatpants and idly chat in the living room and kitchen. We played music and read books. We built and knocked down towers of blocks and popped tubes! We danced! We had serious talks and casual talks about nothing at all. It was exactly what I needed. I love Long Beach so much that I don’t often admit to how much loneliness I feel without friends nearby. This trip reminded me that I am part of a family that loves and cares for one another. A family without airs, but with openness, understanding and transparency. Thomas Wolfe said, “You can’t go home again,” but I’ve built a new home, and it’s wherever Theodore, Sierra and Becca are. I love them.

And let me tell you how this house can COOK! Every day was something different and nearly every single meal was homemade and straight from scratch! I’m going to go over them all in detail, but on Thursday we had spinach artichoke dip with tortilla and pretzel chips, and for dinner we had orange tofu with broccoli and rice. FROM SCRATCH and just as good, if not better, than China Panda. Becca was literally squeezing oranges for the sauce! INCREDIBLE! And they both made it all look so easy! As a one, I don’t cook full meals for myself all too often, so I felt like the king of the castle! It’s going to be hard to go back to Pop Tarts and Cheerio’s after this! 🤣

After dinner was bath time (for Theodore, not all of us), and I think post-bath Theodore is just the absolute cutest! He is such a little snuggle butt and wiggle worm, and his happy, bright blue eyes and pink cheeks just melt me! Sierra and Becca had always told me that he turns into a wild babe after bath time, and I now I finally got to witness firsthand! He’s like the Energizer Baby! After bath comes books, and after books comes bedtime, around 7:30 p.m. Theodore has a pretty consistent schedule, and I was so impressed with how Sierra and Becca worked together and kept to it. Super moms, truly!

Once Theodore was snoozing, Sierra, Becca and I gathered into the TV/couch nook to eat some cookies and chat over the first episode of the new season of Drag Race. I had a bit of a false alarm this first night, when an evacuation alert went out to every citizen of Los Angeles County. I was in Ohio panicking about my pets for about five minutes before they sent out another alert indicating that it was only meant for Kenneth! Crisis averted, but very scary stuff. And what a way to end the day!

Sierra and Becca went to bed at 10 p.m. and I followed an hour later, despite not having slept for more than 24 hours at that point. I always need some time at the end of the night to unwind by myself, and I also wanted to watch my girl Rachel Fitness win season 40 of The Challenge: Battle of the Eras. Woohoo! As soon as she won I fell into bed and slept like the dead. (I’d say “slept like a baby,” but all the stories I’ve heard from Sierra and Becca indicate that babies don’t necessarily sleep as well as I did that night! 🤣)

Friday, January 10

My computer came unplugged while I was sleeping and my alarm didn’t go off, but I was up in time to meet Theo for breakfast. (As much as I hate to admit it, I probably needed the extra hour of sleep after my late night flight and full day.) I asked Sierra and Becca to wake me up if I didn’t come down by the time Theo was ready to eat, because my biggest fear was accidentally sleeping the day away. I wanted to fully appreciate every precious moment!

Friday morning was all about books! Theo read with his Bebe, and then we all attended story time at the Oberlin Library at 11 a.m. We were the first ones there, but the room quickly filled up with a few other families. The person leading story time was filling in for the usual teacher, and every kid there let him know it, but I thought he did a really good job! We sang a song about fish, listened to a few stories about ducks, and jammed out to some guitar picking. It seemed like a very cute program, and it makes me happy that Theo has such a cool resource in his hometown. I’m partial, but I think he was the cutest kid there.

That day we also stopped for a coffee at Slow Train Cafe. I loved the vibe, and my mocha was really tasty! (I always treat myself to a mocha when I’m with Becca and Sierra!) While we enjoyed our beverages, Theodore (strapped to his Bebe’s back) had a BLAST dropping a ball for Becca to catch! He was just cracking up, which was cracking me up in equal measure! His laugh is so sweet, and he’s so sneaky! When Sierra went to catch the ball he was a trickster and dropped it to the opposite side of Becca — just out of her reach! What a big personality in such a small babe! I’m sitting here smiling like a goon as I type this just thinking about it!

OH, and while we were at the cafe we saw a flyer for a research project that a student put together for one of Becca’s classes. It was so cool to see firsthand evidence of the impact that my friend is making within the Oberlin community. Becca is an incredible professor, and she’s taught me so much about how to be a better one as well. I’m always asking her for advice and insight! Oberlin and its student body are so lucky.

On Friday we had leftover art dip for lunch, which I think was even better on day two (as dips and soups often are.) For dinner Sierra and Becca made spicy potato tacos with chipotle sauce, refried beans, lettuce and diced tomatoes. I’m a sucker for a potato and for a taco, and they were INCREDIBLE! Just like Taco Bell, only more flavorful! I have to stress again how impressed I was by all the fresh cooking and homemade meals. With a one year old, I honestly have no idea how they do it. What a team.

Our evening chat was really special this night, because I got to learn more about Sierra and Becca’s love story. I’ve heard bits and pieces and I knew the overall arch, but this time they really went in depth, and it was so sweet, but SO FUNNY at the same time! I will say this — Sierra knows what she wants! And Becca has remarkable self-control! It was a really special moment that will stay in my heart forever. I’ve already gotten their permission to turn their story into a book one day, because it needs to be shared for generations. The whole trip was remarkable, but this was probably my favorite part of it. I love my friends, and I love their love.

I also need to take a moment to boast about Sierra and Becca as parents. Parenting looks so hard, and to do it well, you have to be fully present. Becca and Sierra are fully present. They keep Theodore engaged and inspire his curiosity. They keep on top of his diet and food allergies, and they also study up on best practices in child rearing and adolescent psychology. They’ve already taught Theodore a number of signs that he uses to communicate his wants and/or dislikes. I know that everyone thinks their baby is special, but I truly believe that Theodore is exceptional, and I think a large part of that comes down to having exceptional parents. (And I know all about exceptional parents, because I had one.)

After a long chat, Sierra and Becca went to bed and I put on the latest episode of Drag Race before falling into bed myself. I didn’t want the day to come to an end, because I knew I had to leave the next day.

Saturday, January 11

My flight out on Saturday was at 1:30 p.m., so we had one last morning to enjoy together. We spent it going to The Feve for brunch, and it was INCREDIBLE! Becca, Sierra and I all ordered the spicy sag paneer potato hash and eggs with salad, a baguette, and yogurt-cilantro garlic sauce, and I am still thinking about this meal days later. Theodore had scrambled eggies and roasted potatoes. Sierra said that the menu is constantly changing based on weekly seasonal specials and that at night the bar upstairs hosts drag shows and other live performances. The local art work on display was really cool as well. It was kind of giving Casa Nueva vibes, for those of you who know. Only much better and less hateful.

I hated to say goodbye after brunch, but I was happy that we all got to enjoy another meal together before my flight. (I also enjoyed getting to join this little passenger in the back seat during all our trips out! I had to maximize my Theo time any way that I could! And ugh — would you just look at that face?! 💀)

Once we got back to the house I had just enough time to pack up my stuff, take a few family photos, and collect a couple of Theo snuggles for the road, before Becca had to drive me to the airport with promises that we would all see each other again this summer.

I want to be an active presence in Theodore’s life, as well and Sierra and Becca’s, and I am so thankful that we always find a way to make time and space for each other. I’m so thankful that they make time and space for me.

My flights home were not nearly as exciting as my flights out, but they went smoothly enough. I had a middle seat on my first flight and an hour layover in Dallas, but I landed in L.A. at 7 p.m. and made it home in an Uber by 8. I had a book and I saw a puppy while going through security. No complaints.

Lemon was SO EXCITED to see me when I walked in the door, which never happens with her! For a chihuahua, Lemon is pretty chill around the house, and she never barks (or even gets up) when I come home on a normal day. I guess a distance of three-days made her realize how much she appreciates my company. She’s rotten, but I sure missed her too. Both our tails were a waggin’!

My spring semester doesn’t start until January 21, so I’ll be spending the next week and a half working on my Professional Development Plan, which helps me plan out a path toward tenure at Cal State. I got a ton of work done at the start of winter break, so most of my course prep is complete. I’m definitely going to try to squeeze in some books (including The Seven Husbands of Evelyn Hugo — thank you, Sierra, for letting me borrow it! It’s next on my list!) But mostly I’ll be counting down the days until I get to see my people again.

I’m so grateful. My heart and my cup are so full. ❤️🫀